I’ve decided to withdraw from this battle.
I lay down my shield and sword and I shake off all this armor.
And even though I’m no longer kicking and screaming I’m not as serene as I appear to be. I still feel you moving around in my body, stirring my blood, fevering my brain but it gets better. Since I’ve acknowledged it everyday gets easier. You’re more of a ghost than tangible touch now.

It surprises me that its harder getting over the dream than it was to get over the reality. And now that I have finally begun the process of letting go, since I stopped medicating myself with a hyper active social life and schedule I’m oh so sensitive to everything.
I feel pain, longing, loneliness, anger and grief.

I’m finally in mourning…
I was so arrogant that I believed that allowing myself to feel these things was a sign of weakness.

After all I was the one who left you right?

Who was I to miss you, miss us, miss what could have been or be angry at “what should have been”. But I can be this way. I can be pissed off at losing my best friend. I can mourn the death of this relationship. I can miss the way our bodies moved together and the way we had with words. I can grieve… it is well within my rights to grieve.

I spent 16 months running from this feeling that is washing over me right now because I was terrified of drowning in it. And guess what? Even though I am in over my head with it I can still breathe. And that is kinda pissing me off too. Knowing that I can in fact breath without you… I should have tried to far sooner.

Ten years ago I laughed when I asked you ”What did I think about before I thought of you?”

Now I remember. And I am upset about that too. I am enraged at how I allowed myself to be so dedicated and consumed by us that I let me wither away. That I allowed the value of my word to tarnish that I let my ambition lay furrow in a vast field of opportunity.

I’ve decided to withdraw from this battle of looking for that person to be “us” with.
I have decided to lay down my shield and sword and shake off all this armor so that I can relearn to breathe just for me.
I have decided to remember my own thoughts.
I have decided to reclaim my word and properly nourish my ambitions.
I have decided to let go of this hope for you and me
I have decided to surrender the dream of somesort of “us”
So that I can live the victorious reality

Of me.

You were Pan and all of his Lost Boy.
You believed you could fly and I longed for you to.

You were Nibs
debonair and charismatic wanting to provide even though you were incapable of it
You were Slightly
living in lies you believed to be true, creating songs that only you could hear while begging me to dance with you
You were Curly
my troublesome and forgetful boy but always so so endearing
You were my Twins
knowing nothing about yourself but professing everything

You were also my Tootles.
Who mistook me for something else.
Who shot me down and almost killed me when I tried to fly

You were my Peter Pan, unable to love me the way an adult should.
I was your Wendy, constantly reattaching your shadow.
You exhausted me, wore me out, broke me down while trying to rescue me from a Captian Hook that you created.
The Dreams of Neverland turned to the Dark of Nightmares

When I left you followed me
And at first I loved it

You coming through my window bringing with you all the dreams of a unknowingly selfish heartless innocence. Sprinkling fairy dust over my head and saying that we would fly. But my feet no longer want to leave the ground with you. Every time I leapt off of the edge I realized that that dust was just the remnants of shattered dreams and that the only thing that keep me suspended in the air was the noose you tied around my neck. That and these wings I've constructed on my own.

You were taping at my window last night

Tap
Tap
Tap

But I would not let you in.
Wendy doesn’t live here any more
I do

It's the worst thing I’ve done to you
And it's the best thing I’ve done for myself

Betraying you by growing up

Bitch please....
I'm not sure
where you got your information from
but you don't own me

I don't know what happened in your past
or what happened in this present
to lead to this miscommunication
but you don't own me

you
do not pay my bills
you
do not access my quality
you
do not have power over me


I realize that your high
comes from standing on someone's head
your ego is so short that you have to  straddle someone's shoulders
to kick someone else's side

I realize that you are fragile
behind those hard eyes
that while I can laugh and sing
you can only point at and point out
every negative thing

I don't fear you
because you are blind
you don't see me

I don't fear you
because you are uneducated
you don't know me

I don't fear  you
because you need me (or someone you mistake me to be)
more  than I need this so
you don't own me

and after I write this
after I place the period
you won't own my mind either
you will not hold space within the sacred temple of my thoughts

Bitch please
slave days is ova
and
you
don't
fucking
own me
.

What follows below was written by a dear friend of mine.  She is nice-n- spicy, beautiful and brilliant.  She is the main supporter of her family which consists of her mother, brother and adopted children.  She is a home owner, She is a warrior for women in need.  She is powerful.

She is 28
She is black
She is single
She is doing it alone

She suffers from CCSWS
and I do too.

I am in recovery
and I think she is too.

I know she is gonna read this intro.  I hope she does.  I hope she knows how fucking amazing she is.  I hope she knows how much I love her even if our contact is here or there, every so often at best.  I hope she knows that she is worthy ever so worthy of her receiving all of her needs and desires.






Curvy Girl Testimonies Presents: CCSWS (Cool Chick Superwoman Syndrome) Vol 1
This volume was inspired by life experiences from friends, family and me. The name and events have been changed to protect the innocent. At least I think so…

I know it’s been a few weeks since you been gone but you crossed my mind today. I never thanked you for that weekend we spend together. I know you are seating there reading this saying to yourself, “Why is she thanking me?” Allow me to explain.

Well, for women such as myself who suffer from the “Cool Chick Superwoman Syndrome” it’s not easy for us. There are two parts to this sickness, the first part is we are the chicks that you can call on a whim and take them out to dinner, movie, club or a sporting event and have a good time. At the end of the evening, if sex is required, you are guaranteed it’s going to be good. Not just good, mind blowing sex! You don’t have to call us much and you can treat our emotions and feeling any kind of way. We will be alright with this, because we are the “cool chick.” The second part of this sickness is we take care of everything and everybody with no regard to ourselves. Due to the lack of real men and women, an especially man in this world the weight is placed on your shoulders. I try to avoid getting this disease but to no avail I caught it.

So, now I go around the world being Captain Save a Ho and being used and abused. So what does all this got to do with you and that weekend. Well, this was the first time in a long time that I was treated right. From the chivalry acts right down to you holding me after our “workout” on both beds, it was perfect. I never met a man that totally connected to me physical and emotional in such a short time. Few have tried and none have been successful. I simply want you to hear me out and understand where I’m coming from. I take things for what they are at that moment in time. It was just that weekend and its nothing more or nothing less. I know where I stand; I know my place very well. So, I’m not making a mountain out of a molehill. I’m not going to find a job in your area, move up there with you and live happily ever after. I leave fairytales and nursery rhymes to Mother Goose.

As the CCSW Syndrome patient, you really don’t understand how life works for some of us. We are not the chicks that get called because you want to hear the smile in their voice. We are not the chicks that you plan special weekend getaways just because she needed a weekend to relax. We are not the chicks you send flowers to just because. We are not the chicks who you look at when we are sleep to see how peaceful and beautiful we look. We are not the chicks that you call beautiful or pretty even though we might be, we are just sexy and hot. We are not the the chicks that meet your family or friends. We are not the chicks that you keep a picture of them in the phone just to see our faces. We are not the chicks you wonder if we got home safely if we leave late. We are not the chicks you start saving money for the ring to put on her finger.

We are the chicks you remember when you are bored or horny. We are the chicks you know we like you more than a friend but you want to us to date anyone else but you can or have a wife or girlfriend. We are the chicks that you only call during the hours of 9pm-2am. We are the chicks that you keep around until you find “the one” but we met the requirements.

There are treatment plans such as prayer, self esteem building, support circle of friends and family. Currently researchers are searching for a cure, preliminary results conclude that a real man that is open and honest about what he wants from her. In addition, a man who recognize what he has infront of him instead of searching for something they are not even qualified to receive.

Researcher will release more information when it becomes available.

The end of summer is the worse time for me.  
Everywhere there are reminders of the darkness, death, silence.... stillness.

But the world seems to resist slowing and like a petulant child laid down for an afternoon nap it throws it's tantrum.  
the last of the humid nights are the harshest,
the last heat wave of summer the hottest
the candle burns brightest before it extinguishes itself. 

Everything is suddenly filled with this resistance from the grain to flowering fruit dripping with its ripeness, full for harvesting

and it seems that I am too.
too ripe
too petulant
too resistant
too eager to be harvested...

I am moving a mile a minute to stay ahead darkness, death, silence... Isa
Isa is the ice
Isa is the cave
Isa is the stillness

Stillness that sends my mind reeling inward and it's desitination is accountability for all the things that I have done and all the things I have hoped to do


Isa is coming for me and I can smell her perfume on the cool, heavy shifting winds.
I know that she is coming towards me at a steady pace not nearly slow enough for my tastes and when she gets here I am gonna just fall forward into her arms.
And  I'm gonna cry myself into sleep and catharsis and back again until this house is clean.

Me::      bad bad Renie

flirting with coworkers

I should be spanked

 

Pink:      don't tell me - tell Mister

 

Me::      haha you're right

that WILL get me a spanking!!!

 

Pink:      see, now aren't you glad I've never met him?

I would tattle...all. the. time.

 

Me:        omgeeeeeee can you?!

 

Pink:      *snort*

Pink:      Comcast can bite me yet again

 

Me::      Bite you again?

 

Pink:      Yes hater bastards. They sent me a letter dated last Thurs saying they're turning off my cable tomorrow. I called in to pay the past due this morning and ended up yelling at the chick for being a moron.

 

Me::      Well good morning to the both of you :)

 

Pink:       Comcast can bite me.

Their call center sucks my ass.

Want a new service.

Pink:      there my rage in haiku

 

Me::      you should do your rage in haiku more often

 

Pink:      from now on, I'm creating haikus for my rage moments

 

Pink:      lol

 

Me::      lol

 

Me::      okay we synced

 

Pink:      totally

 

Pink:      it's creative at the very least.  What could be a better juxtaposition than super rage and a catchy little poem?

 

Me::      you should make a book named "Rage"

it could have cherry blossoms on the cover and a buddah

 

Me::      giving the finger

 

Pink:      hahaha awesome

 

Me::      PS popped me up…sexy devil and typed the following

“ i wish i was there

i want you like a man possessed”

 

Me::      that’s always nice to hear. I feel like slutty mc slut slut all over again. Too bad or good he is far away. Why does he get my panties wet?  Am I really that much of a push over for tall pale and scrawny.

 

Pink:      I don't like people that say stuff like that. I always ask them "please point on the dolly which part you are possessed over." and they get pissy

 

Me::      lol  I adore it. It makes me feel like Sophia Loren

 

Me::      or a snack wrap

It was a hard thing

and if I was not so exhausted I would have fought myself. 

 

It was a hard thing

and if I was not so defeated  I would have broken both tooth and nail  trying to swim in this shit filled river called denial proclaiming all the while that it smelled of fresh milk and roses.

 

It was a hard thing… but I did it.

I pulled myself out.

 

 

Now I feel hollowed out and worn out. 

Now I feel groggy and yet oh so electric

Awakening from that drugged stupor.

Aching as my blood clears itself form the heroine I injected into it. 

Poison self poured into my own open veins visa vi your touch, your voice, your face, your body.

 

you.

 

I was still willing, wanting and waiting until I realized how afraid you were.

Until I realized how afraid you have always been.

 

I deserve to be loved with the same ferocity with which I love, with which I live.  To accept less is a slap in the face to everything I have accomplished over the last year.  It is a direct mockery to every sacrifice I have made.  It is disservice to every person that has helped raise me into this state of being.

 

It is a hypocritical crime of the worst kind against all those people who I have told repeatedly to take their power back.

 

I took mine back

Its this foreign feral thing

I’m swagging from head to toe.

It’s in my shoes and I’m stepping taller

It’s wrapped around my waist and I’m standing straighter

It’s a crown on my brow and its making me glow

 

I’m re-incorporating it into my non-corporal self

 

I’m putting it in a special place

 

That place where you once were.

 

And you’ll never fucking touch it again.

Rubenesque Burlesque is doing it again with the Hubba Hubba Revue. Come see us shake and shimmy it up on the shores of Lake Tittihaha. Grab your gear and get ready for a hot hot summer night!!! xoxoxXXX,
Miss Renie
aka
Miss Magnoliah Black. Come see us shake and shimmy it up on the shores of Lake Tittihaha. Grab your gear and get ready for a hot hot summer night!!!

xoxoxXXX,
Miss Renie
aka Miss Magnoliah Black

 "You're like catnip for crazy people"

Dre made this comment to me a while  ago and I tried to deny it.  But as the months go by I realize again and again that she was correct…. as usual I might add.

 

I start to wonder if it is because I am crazy myself. 

It bothers me

I used to think that I was crazy but a friend told me once that if you think you may be crazy that shows that you are sane enough to not actually be crazy.

 

Sane enough….

 

Last night during another pathetic attempt to get off before I fell asleep with bob whirling again (total fucking waste of batteries that is) I mentally replayed  minor incidents that happened over the last couple of days.  I concluded right before I came that “theeeeey” were off their rockers.  And as I drifted off into peaceful release ridden slumber I thought “wow sucks to be the only completely sane person in this particular barrel of apples”

 

Sane enough…

So have I run out of sanity?

 

Right now I am struggling with this concept… the un-comfort of believing that I am a truly sane individual.  I think it is plain dangerous.

 

Or maybe I only feeeeeeel sane because for the past year I have been “Catnip” for crazy people. … surrounded by them! You know strangers that sniff me and sigh in delight, 20 something virgins that kiss me  cum in their pants and then run away in embarrassment,   hopeful  lost ones who think I can show them the door to their own awesomeness, stalkers that call me a drug they can’t get out of their system… how Twilight~~~

 

I’m not complaining…. life is anything but boring.

 

Yesterday a really nice looking gentleman approached me and asked me out.  He seemed “normal”  He smelled nice. 

 

I asked him very politely if he was crazy.  He said that he wasn’t.   I assured him that he was and if he wasn’t dating me would soon make him crazy.

 

He asked if I were crazy

I told him that I might be

 

He asked if it were a problem

I said it might be

 

He said he was up for the challenge.

I laughed

 

He asked me on a date again

I told him I don’t date (l really wanted to tell him that we were all stocked up on crazy for the next 365 and to try again next year)

 

He asked me why

I told him that I seem to only attract crazy people these days… or sane people that turn crazy around me so I took myself off the market.

 

He said that was very thoughtful of me.

I told him I was a thoughtful person.

 

I almost gave him the e-mail….

He was wearing old spice.

I have a weakness for the old spice.  It reminds me of flannal and Brawny paper towels and christmas and hunter provider with an after 5 stubble on a Gaston-nesque chin.

 

But I was strong

Besides I am pretty sure that he was crazy…

 

Or maybe I am….

 

 

 

 

Naaaaaaah!

 

In September I will be going to get a look at New York for the first time... I think its only fair that New York gets an eye full of me in return.

Rubenesque Burlesque will be working hard that labor day weekend bring pasties, panties and plush plus sexy size to the City that never sleeps in our first ever tour of New York. 

I've been given the opportunity of the life time
All I have to do is take my clothes off.

And while I don't need a bra
I could totally use your support ;)




xoxoXXX,
Miss Renie
aka Miss Magnoliah Black


Event:  Juke Joint
Date:   August 2nd
Time:   Doors open at 6 show starts at 7
Place:  The Vibe Lounge 2272 Telegraph Street, Oakland CA

His reaction upon hearing the details of the upcoming month was typical:

What are you insane?!

~What!? That’s like the fourth time that has been said to me in the past six hours.  I am beginning to think that something has gone off…

Yeah your brain

~You’re over reacting and I find it incredibly charming

I’m not over reacting and don’t use your damn wiles on me… they don’t work remember.  I’m not into your type.

~What you mean women?

No I mean lunatics.  You need to slow down..... and behave yourself.

~Behave myself?

Yeah behave yourself

~I can’t do that…besides well behaved women rarely make history

 

A year ago I made a promise to myself

I promised to Untame , To Rename, To Reclaim me

Because amidst years of conflict
amidst years of conditioning
amidst years of conforming

I had forgotten
my worth
my beauty
my self

 

A year ago I made this proclamation of reclamation. 

~it has resulted in the metaphorsis of a nine year relationship to a wonderful life long friendship
~it has resulted in the loss of 30 pounds
~and the gaining of 15 ;)
~it has resulted in ardent change within myself which has rippled out to touch those closest to me
~it has brought to me a learning of  me

And some of these things that I learned  I love
And some of these things that I learned I absolutely despise

I have learned that I like the razor edge of things
That my sunshine is all the deep deep sensations from elated joy to tortuous pain
I’ve learned that I can shout and sing and strip in front of a crowded room
I’ve reclaimed my sashay, my sass, my sexuality, my spirit.

I’ve also learned that my halo can just as easily become Horns
That I possess as much callousness as I do compassion
That I can be as ugly as I can be beautiful, selfless and selfish
That I can be brilliantly confident and oh so needy of outside affirmation

 

I learned that I had miscalculated terribly

I assumed at the beginning of this that being “me” was a destination that I would arrive at.   I even had the nerve to assume on several occasions that I had “arrived”.   

Now I know that all this, all these things that I have embraced as part of me, all these robes of robes I have put on me is not me.  

I know this because I see it in others. 

In the mother who turns to temptress after her children as fast asleep.

In the tattooed burlesque dancer who has to run off after her performance to study for her exams

In the most feared sadist who cries cheerful tears when given the gentlest butterfly kiss upon his cheek.

In the eyes of the power lawyer who confesses that all he wants is to give in, submit, be told what to think and feel and do.

 

Burlesque Dancer, Debaucher, Red Pill, Submissive Switch, Poly, Pan Sexual, Pagan these are  planets  coming in and out orbit around the soul of who I am and more importantly who I can be.  It’s easy to get caught up in “planets”  I mean hell they are fucking planets.  Huge massive things with there own systems of doing things, rules and landscapes.  It is easy to get caught on one.

I’ve gotten caught on a few
I’ve been lazy again

I’ve come far from the quite girl with low self esteem, from that over emotional self hating mess that used to cut her wrists and cry herself asleep at night.  I’ve come far from the binge eater, the hater, the angry one who threw things and cursed(I still curse but I do it with a smile).  I’ve come far from the cowardess, the powerless.

 

But  I have not arrived
This is just a plateau
I can see a little bit clearly… at least I think I can. 

And what I see are other lines cast down.  From other men and women who have gone before me.  Ropes of knowledge, wisdom, challenge, growth all dangling in the breeze.  There are footholds too, uncharted paths to take as well all things leading to the next level and the next.

 

To continue on this everyday adventure that I’m making my life to be will take more than proclamations, more than believing and boasting.

 

It will take that discipline that Sensei told me I needed so badly ten years ago…  I’m looking forward to the new set of challenges before me, the creations and catharsis they will bring me…

 

I’m not so afraid anymore
and that either means that I am ready or that I am incredibly, inexcusably stupid.  Not that that matters… I’m committed.

 

Or certifiable.

 

 

Either way there is nothing like getting your hands a little dirty to cleanse your soul ;)

Dawn posted this on her FB...I took a test like this two years ago and my has there been a change!!! I used to be INJF or Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling Judging .   Scary accurate though...

Here is the link to try it out The Official Myers-Briggs Personality Test ...

 

ENFP

19 Extraversion, 2 Introversion, 5 Sensing, 21 Intuition, 6 Thinking, 18 Feeling, 11 Judging and 11 Perceiving!

Extroverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling

Approximately 8.1% of persons in the United States are ENFPs.

      

 

Summary:

Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency. 

 

At Their Best

For people with ENFP preferences, life is a creative adventure full of exciting possibilities. ENFPs are keenly perceptive about people and insightful about the present and future. They experience a wide range of feelings and intense emotions. They need affirmation from others and readily give appreciation and support.

ENFPs are good at understanding how people and groups work and are persuasive and compelling in pursuing what is important to them. They are adaptable, blooming where they are planted. Their energy and enthusiasm encourage others to bloom as well.

 

 

Characteristics of ENFPs

ENFPs are innovators, initiating projects and directing great energy into getting them under way. Using Intuition primarily externally, they are stimulated by new people, ideas, and experiences. They find meaning and significance readily and see connections that others don't. They are likely to be    

·    Curious, creative, and imaginative  

·    Energetic, enthusiastic, and spontaneous

ENFPs value harmony and goodwill. They like to please others and will adapt to others' needs and wishes when possible. ENFPs primarily use Feeling internally, making decisions by applying personal values through identification and empathy with others. ENFPs are likely to be

·    Warm, friendly, and caring  

·    Cooperative and supportive

ENFPs have exceptional insight into possibilities in others and the energy and motivation to help actualize them. They feel confident moving ahead based on their insights, and their enthusiasm tends to bring others along with them.

 

 

How Others May See Them

ENFPs are usually lively, gregarious, and sociable, with a large circle of friends. They are interested in almost every- thing and bring a zest to life that draws others to them. At the same time, they value depth and authenticity in their close relationships and direct great energy to creating and supporting open and honest communication.

ENFPs hate routine, schedules, and structure and usually manage to avoid them. They are normally verbally fluent, even in extemporaneous situations; however, when their deepest values need expression, they may suddenly be awkward and express their judgments with uncharacteristic intensity. Others usually see ENFPs as

·    Personable, perceptive, and persuasive    

·    Enthusiastic, spontaneous, and versatile    

·    Giving and seeking affirmation

 

 

Potential Areas for Growth

Sometimes life circumstances have not supported ENFPs in the development and expression of their Feeling and Intuitive preferences. 

·    If they have not developed their Feeling, they may go from enthusiasm to enthusiasm, never committing the energy necessary to actualize their insights, or they may make overly personal decisions.    

·    If they have not developed their Intuition, they may fail to take in enough information, lack trust in their own insights, be uncertain, and accept others' perceptions too quickly.

If ENFPs do not find a place where they can use their gifts and be appreciated for their contributions, they usually feel frustrated and may

·    Become scattered, have trouble focusing, be easily distracted

·    Fail to follow through on decisions    

·    Become rebellious, excessively nonconforming    

·    Ignore deadlines and procedures

It is natural for ENFPs to give less attention to their non- preferred Sensing and Thinking parts. If they neglect these too much, however, they may    

·    Not take care of the details and routine required for implementing their inspirations

·    Overextend themselves have trouble saying no to interesting possibilities and people    

·    Fail to apply reason and logic to assess their inspirations and decisions

Under great stress, ENFPs may become overwhelmed by detail and lose their normal perspective and sense of options. Then they tend to focus on an unimportant or distorted detail, letting it become the central fact of their universe.

And just to be certian I retook that original test from 3 years ago and the result were the same... although I think one of the authors of the results got totally burned by an ENFP!!!!

ENFP

Extraverted	Intuitive	Feeling	Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
56	50	50	11

Idealist Portrait of the Champion (ENFP)

Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.

Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible.

Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.

Joan Baez, Phil Donahue, Paul Robeson, Bill Moyer, Elizibeth Cady Stanton, Joeseph Campbell, Edith Wharton, Sargent Shriver, Charles Dickens, and Upton Sinclair are examples of Idealist Champions

 

 

 

Profile: ENFP
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 25 Feb 2005

[The following comes partially from the archetype, but mostly from my own dealings with ENFPs.]

General: ENFPs are both "idea"-people and "people"-people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.

Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (l ots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature ENFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they're a wonderful and fascinating person.

ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their neglecting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.
Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.

ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.

Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

by Joe Butt

ENFPs are friendly folks. Most are really enjoyable people. Some of the most soft-hearted people are ENFPs.

ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Som etimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped.

One study has shown that ENFPs are significantly overrepresented in psychodrama. Most have a natural propensity for role-playing and acting.

ENFPs like to tell funny stories, especially about their friends. This penchant may be why many are attracted to journalism. I kid one of my ENFP friends that if I want the sixth fleet to know something, I'll just tell him.

ENFPs are global learners. Close enough is satisfactory to the ENFP, which may unnerve more precise thinking types, especially with such things as piano practice ("three quarter notes or four ... what's the difference?") Amazingly, some ENFPs are adept at exacting disciplines such as mathematics.

Friends are what life is about to ENFPs, moreso even than the other NFs. They hold up their end of the relationship, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals. ENFPs are energized by being around people. Some have real difficulty being alone , especially on a regular basis.

One ENFP colleague, a social worker, had such tremendous interpersonal skills that she put her interviewers at ease during her own job interview. She had the ability to make strangers feel like old friends.

ENFPs sometimes can be blindsided by their secondary Feeling function. Hasty decisions based on deeply felt values may boil over with unpredictable results. More than one ENFP has abruptly quit a job in such a moment.

Functional Analysis:

Extraverted iNtuition

The physical world, both geos and kosmos, is the ENFP's primary source of information. Rather than sensing things as they are, dominant intuition is sensitive to things as they might be. These extraverted intuitives are most adept with patterns and connections. Their natural inclination is toward relationships, especially among people or living things.

Intuition leans heavily on feeling for meaning and focus. Its best patterns reflect the interesting points of people, giving rise to caricatures of manner, speech and expression.

Introverted Feeling

Auxiliary feeling is nonverbally implied more often than it is openly expressed. When expressed, this logic has an aura of romance and purity that may seem out of place in this flawed, imperfect world. In its own defense, feeling judgement frequently and fleetly gives way to humor. ENFPs who publicize their feelings too often may put off some of the crowd of friends they naturally attract.

Extraverted Thinking

Thinking, the process which runs to impersonal conclusions, holds the extraverted tertiary position. Used on an occasional basis, ENFPs may benefit greatly from this ability. Less mature and lacking the polish of higher order functions, Thinking is not well suited to be used as a prominent function. As with other FP types, the ENFP unwary of Thinking's limitations may find themselves most positively mistaken.

Introverted Sensing

Sensing, the least discernible ENFP function, resides in the inner world where reality is reduced to symbols and icons--ideas representing essences of external realities. Under the influence of the ever-present intuition, the ENFP's sensory perceptions are in danger of being replaced by hypothetical data consistent with pattern and paradigm. When it is protected and nourished, introverted sensing provides information about the fixed. From such firm anchoring ENFPs are best equipped to launch into thousands of plausibilities and curiosities yet to be imagined.

Perhaps the combination of introverted Feeling and childlike introverted Sensing is responsible for the silent pull of ENFPs to the wishes of parents, authority figures and friends. Or perhaps it's the predominance of indecisive intuition in combination with the ambiguity of secondary Fi and tertiary Te that induces these kind souls to capitulate even life-affecting decisions. Whatever the dynamic, ENFPs are strongly influenced by the opinions of their friends.

Famous ENFPs:

Franz Joseph Haydn
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)
Will Rogers
Buster Keaton
Theodor "Dr." Seuss Geisel (The Cat in the Hat)
Mickey Rooney
James Dobson ("Focus on the Family")
Andy Rooney
Carol Burnett
Paul Harvey
Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched)
Bill Cosby (Ghost Dad)
Dom Delouise, actor
Dave Thomas, owner of Wendy's hamburger chain
Lewis Grizzard, newspaper columnist
I. King Jordan, president of Gallaudet University
Martin Short, actor-comedian
Meg Ryan, actor (When Harry Met Sally)
Robin Williams, actor, comedian (Dead Poet's Society, Mrs. Doubtfire)
Sandra Bullock, actor (Speed, While You Were Sleeping)
Robert Downey (Heart and Souls)
Alicia Silverstone (Clueless)
Sinbad
Andy Kaufman
Regis Philbin
 
Fictional:
Dr. Doug Ross (ER)
Balkie (Perfect Strangers)
Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Steve Irkle

Copyright © 1996-2007 by Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt

I just ran across a gem from my OkCupid days and had so post it for posterity’s sake. Name changed to protect the highly bloggable guilty

Phil:  I WANT TO BEAT THAT

Magnoliah: good for you

Phil:  LET ME IN TTHEN

Magnoliah: I said good for you not for me

Phil: UR PROLLI RIGHT (I think he meant poly)

Magnoliah: I am polyamorous yes… you left off the amorous part.  Besides your use of caps offends my vision as does your approach.

Phil: ME 2                                         

Magnoliah: then why do you persist in using all caps.

Magnoliah: just purely out of interest... has I want to beat that ever worked for you in the past?

Phil: I STILL MAY WORK RIGHT NOW

Magnoliah: lol not this time darling . The caps are making my eyes bleed.

Phil: JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY HAVE YOU BEEN BEATEN BEFORE?

Phil: Beaten until everything below your waist was sore?

Magnoliah: thank you for removing the caps... and just to be clear by beaten do you mean fucked?

Phil: Indeed                            

Magnoliah: ah then yes

Phil: Fucked like you stole something

Magnoliah :yes

Phil: Yes you have or yes you liked it

Magnoliah: yes to both

Phil: Then you should let me beat that

Magnoliah:I don't follow your logic

Phil:  u don’t have 2 follow u just gotta lay there I got the rest.

Magnoliah: You’re knocking on my door the wrong way or maybe you are knocking on the wrong door.  I am kinky and wild and a fucking freak but I have to have more interest than getting beaten until I am sore in order to allow myself to get beaten until I am sore… follow?

Phil: wrong door wrong language wrong day

Magnoliah: Sadly so sweetness. Good luck …finding the right door that is ;) and when you do may you knock it the fuck out.

Phil: Aww ur cute

Phil: thx

Phil: peace

Magnoliah: peace :)

 

Me:      He’s divine

Pink:    No he’s not

Me:      You should see what he’s texting me

Me:      my hands will rove most passionately. And my face will bury itself in your bosoms in short order.

Me:      "short order"

Me:      how the freak can I resist that

Pink :   isn't bosom supposed to be singular?

Me:      Damn’t now he is human again

Pink :   sorry

Me:      you would see that grammatical error

Pink :   this is why I don't date

So a buddy of mine is dating in Denver.  And she ran across this little gem that she just had to share.  I think it is pure genius so I had to share it too... and analyze it as well.

I heart you craigslist <3




Date: 2009-06-15, 3:56PM MDT


Ladies are you tired of your black man that does not work, has other kids you help him take care of, does not listen to you, rub your feet sometimes, take your car without asking, and just parties in the club with his boys all week long and make you stay at home. ladies i know as a black man that aome of us do those type of things, so if your in the market for a new black man listen up

Im employed with a good job, i dont stay at home with mom even though we are in a recssion i have two cars, im six foot 2 200 pounds no kids and no crazy exes
things i like to do

1) read
2) sports
3) watch movies
4)and just chill

about you

1) Down to earth
2) can cook
3) no kids. i might make an exception if the baby dad is far far away--i hate baby dad drama
4) has a career
5) own home
6) can rub a back do the splits or shoot an basketball, or kick a soccer ball, something athletic
7)pretty feet
8) at least a b plus-that means you better be looking like an model or on the verge of looking like one..lol

preference (just what i really like)
1) can conversate good
2) dark hair
3) light skin. that means mixed black women white women mexican and white asian mexican--you get the point
4) nice hands
5) not a pushover

things i can do for you
1) listen when you come home tired or have problems
2) rub your back and feet
3) take you out if i feel like your worthy of a good wine and dine
4) put my face in the cookie if you know what i mean
5)not try to get with one of your friends after you tell her how good the sex is..lol
6) be loyal and respectful
7) make you laugh

Well if you still reading im sure your laughing right now. and thats my best quality making a women laugh. so anyway i know your saying what does this brotha look like.. well im not gonna lie im not usher but i dont look like SEAL either so if SEAL the singer can get HEDI KLUM a model im sure i can get a nice good looking women. hell somebodies got to date you why not me...get back with me with pic and contact info myspace facebook link, and i will will be happy to send pics of me. thanks and please no dumb replies only serious ones cause i am being serious.. thanks


Source: http://denver.craigslist.org/m4w/1223193506.html

See genius and I'll explain why: 
Aside from the overwhelming amount of grammatical and spelling errors which is a painful and probably accurate red flag regarding the underwhelming upcoming “Conversate” any woman daft enough to take him on would have, this is 100% pure genius.

Because (while being completely high-larious) he has presented honest intent and personal character clear enough for any woman of any imagination to get the full vivid picture… even though it isn’t a pretty one.  He has meticulously laid out bright yellow “Danger” tape and bold red signs that say “Stop sbm with self esteem so low he has to write I as i, seeking articulate -lighter- than a paper bag video girl to engage in foot fetish and hand porn who will not mind spanking him since it would bring some validation and excitement to his life which consists of:

1) read
2) sports
3) watch movies
4)and just chill

 

While the offer to “take you out if i feel like your worthy of a good wine and dine.” May seem heartwarming at first it is a guarded cruising for a bruising. So is the reassuring promise  to “not try to get with one of your friends after you tell her how good the sex is..lol”

 

The pièce de résistance… and there is a pièce de résistance is the Newtonian logic presented in his closing statements …  and I quote “somebodies got to date you why not me”.   How noble and self sacrificing.

 

The ironic genius is this: In his effort to not be one undesirable man he has depicted himself as that man’s equal if not brother.  Bravo and encore sir.  I’m no video girl but I have pretty feet and hands and I am fully capable of tying you up and spanking you… you misogynic myopic blatantly masochistic foot fetish freak you.

I am happy for my friends whose marriages were upheld and respected.
and I am furious beyond words that the marriages that were to be can not come to pass at least not right now. 

I believed with all my heart that prop 8 would be seen as the deplorable, disrespectful, demeaning, segregationist piece of shit it is. 

I believed with all my heart that there was indeed a division between church and state.

I believed with all my heart that if IOWA could do it then CALIFORNIA sure the hell could.

I thought that people would see that this isn't just about marriage that it is about Civil Rights.  Just like it was all those years ago with a person of my ethnicity could not do certain things or marry certain people.

I thought that people would see this as a president for control.  That if they could do this with marriage that they could do this with other things too.

 

I think that what happened today is WRONG

and I belive it is FAR FROM OVER!!!

erase the H8